Paul Barnard - Online Memorial Website

We were at the Barnards for a braai, Paul loved to braai/bbq it was his favorite thing to do, have some friends over, entertain them out at the bbq area, always a gentleman as soon as I would walk through the door he would say in his thick afrikaans accent "hullo Jenny" and right after that, he would offer me something to drink, always making me feel right at home.....

Well we were talking about spiders one night, who knows why, all topics would come up......and we were standing near the tree, well I got a stick and leaf and went behind Paul when he wasnt looking and lightly tickled his neck with the leafe, WELL needless to say Paul jumped as high as the fence....He got such a fright, it was so funny to see such a large man freak out about a "leaf" he thought was a spider....We all laughed and I can still see him smiling when he realized what a goof he must have looked like. I have such good memories of Paul, when I think of him I always smile...

We visited the Barnards when they went camping in Dana Point and I remember him standing with his fishing rod at the edge of the ocean, waiting patiently for his catch...A gentle, amazing friend...who I miss dearlyXXX

Hey paul, I just wanted to say how much i missed you. I think about you, and your family, so so much. I have learned not to take anyone for granted, to say to people I love you more, and tell them how much I care about them, knowing that tomorrow Isn't a garanteed day. I remember when we went to Big Bear for the weekend, I went with your family, and on the way home, I asked you how mountains were made. I also remember when Brian wasn't home one day, and you were, Bruno jumped on me, And he wouldn't come off, and you got him off. Thanks for helping me. It was weird, because that morning on August 4th, we were talking about our palms, trying to figure out our life line. And we also talked about David Beckham. The last time i gazed into your eyes, was the moment before we all got on the boat. I had told him I had to go to the bathroom, and we looked into eachother's eyes. I wish I had gotten to know you better, and I cry because I didn't know you as well as I should have. I am soo sorry Paul. I love you so much, and I will see you in heaven some day. But until them, I will be a wonderful friend to Mary, Callia, Voulitsa, and Zoe. I already promised Mary I would come to her house when I am free from soccer. And I plan to keep that promise.

Love, Courtney Berry

Paul and I met at a shirt and hat party at the end of my first year at Law School in 1985. After chatting for a while we found out that we came from the same town, called George. We again saw each other a few days later, exchanged phone numbers, and a promise from me to introduce him to a girl friend of mine.About a month later, in December (1985) we all went out for drinks. As it turned out, Paul and I clicked and the introduction to my friend never happened.

In February(1986) we went back to University.Paul was in his final year doing his business degree. By July that year we were becoming worried about the separation that was to follow in December. Seeing it was his final year, he had to go to the military the following year(which was mandatory at the time for 2 years). We were looking for ideas on how we would not get separated. In that year Paul became interested in law(after watching me sweat it out) so we came to the brilliant idea that he was going to study law for the next few years. (I always used to joke and say he had me to thank for his law degree).  

Paul and I dated "secretly" for close to 5 years. I came from a strict Greek family, who wanted me to marry a Greek boy. I did n't know how we were going to break the news to them that this was not going to happen. Ironically enough, when my parents did find out they were not opposed to the match...they both loved Paul from the day they met him. 

We finished studying and moved to George. Paul opened up his own law practise and I went to work in the family business. We got engaged in August 1994, and 6 months later got married on my birthday, February 1995, close to 10 years after we first me and started dating.

After starting a family, we were starting to think about immigrating. Paul wanted to go to Australia, and I wanted to come to America. In 1997, we went to Australia to see whether we liked it. We both enjoyed Australia, but to be on the sure side(because we were only immigrating once) we decided we should see America as well. In 1999 we came to see America. As it happened, Paul got a job here and we went home to start organising our affairs. Paul left South Africa in March 2000 and I followed with the girls in April 2000.

Life in America was not always that easy. We came from a very spoilt lifestyle, we had 3 girls all under the age of 4, and we were separated from our family. I caved in many times and wanted to return, but Paul was the rock. He loved it in America, and as the years went by, our girls bacame little Americans. Paul's favorite saying to me was "its all about the girls Mary, not about us". He was right about this, and as the years went by, and I made some close friends, America started feeling like home.

However, there was a cloud hanging over us, and that was our Greencard. Paul was here on a working visa and there was always the possibility(although unlikely) that our greencard application could be denied. While the attorneys had submitted our application, I bacame adament we should both enter the Greencard lottery. For some unkown reason I had a strong feeling we were going to win, if we entered. In April 2005, the letter arrived that I had won the lottery, and if we did it all right we would have our Greencards within a year. In April 2006, we received our Greencards...our happiness had no end! For both Paul and myself, we felt a sense of security, knowing that there was n't much that could go wrong now!  

We found Campland in San Diego a few years ago. We enjoyed camping there with 3 families every year. We booked a year in advance because it was such a popular campsite. As the days were approaching for our annual camping trip, I for some reason did not want to go. On Friday, the 3rd of August, I saw my neighbour at Cosco and said to him that I really did not want to go to Campland...his answer was "then don't go". I so wish I had taken his advice.

On Saturday, 4th of August, we spend a lovely day together. At about 2pm in the afternoon, I wanted to leave Campland. I suggested to Paul we take the girls to Seaworld. I remember so clearly he put his arms around me and said "its such a beautiful day, lets rather go cycling and go tomorrow as planned". We went cycling with the girls and that is the last beautiful memory I have of all of us together. My youngest daughter, Zoe, has mentioned its so hard to believe that such a beautiful day turned out to be such a tragedy, that would change our lives forever.

On the 4th of August, 2007 at 5:30pm, Pauls life came to a tragic end. The unimaginable happened, I lost my husband and my girls lost their father. 

Now, 2 and a half months later, its still so hard to believe this could have happened...for me, Paul was bigger than life, a vibrant person, a calm person and the best there ever could be. I regard myself as so lucky to have been married to him and to have spend such a big part of my life with him. We have 3 beautiful girls that can carry on his legacy, because in each of them there is a part of Paul.

My second(more positive) shock came when I saw how people rallied to help us, whether it was dinners every night for more than a month, the thoughtful giftcards, the money to put in college funds for the girls, or the kind and loving words of support. I could not have gotten through my darkest days without the support of my family, friends, acquaintances and even people I had not met before Paul's passing.

The one thing I'm certain of in this very uncertain world, is how much Paul loved his three daughters! May his memory be eternal for them, for me, our families and all the friends that loved him.

I love you Paul, and I will carry you in my heart until we meet again.  

Paul loved the outdoors: he was active, funny,nice husband, father and friend. He always put a smile on someone's face. He could step into a room and light it up with joy. Paul made the world's best BBQ. One of my fondest memories with Paul was going camping at Dougheny Beach, and Paul put all of us, Callia, Natalie and me, in the canoe, and shipped us out to sea. After the canoe ride, we sat on the beach catching sand crabs while Paul fished. I was standing right next to him when he rolled in a small fish.

I remember going to the Barnard's home and as you stepped into the house, you could smell the BBQ. Every night, Paul and Brian would stand next to the BBQ and cook steaks for everyone.

I also remember when Mary and my mom would go to the movies together, Paul would cook steaks for all of us and let us watch movies all night until our moms came back from the movies. Paul was a great grown up friend and I will always remember him for the rest of my life....

Camila Turati (Callia's friend) 

Mary,

I am sorry to have heard of your loss. Paul will be deeply missed. His kindness to me as a neighbor will be remembered forever. The wealth of a man is measured by the investments of his heart and how he reaches into other's lives unselfishly to make a positive change. This would mean that Paul passed on as one of the richest men in the world. We have all been changed and blessed to have spent time in his presence. May God comfort you and the girls in this difficult time.

Sincerely,

Dominic 

Dear Daddy,

I love you so much and really miss you. I wish you were here right now. You were a very good dad to me. I liked to fish with you, the first fish I ever caught was with you. I remember the good times in Big Bear with you, when you said to us that it was a no rules weekend...

I loved that because you let us do whatever we wanted to do. I loved going on the kayak with you, the ocean was fun but I loved it more when you let us put the kayak in the pool, that was way more fun...

Have fun in heaven daddy, I will miss you but one day we will be together again and we can both be angels together.

Lots of love always, Your daughter

Voulitsa. By the way, I got straight A'S in my progress report.

A couple of nights ago, Mary gave me Paul's "Plunge Router".  I wasn't sure I should take it, but when we left I told Anne the story of the day Paul showed me his latest toy.  I said cool, a plunge router.  I asked him what he was going to do with it.  He said, "I don't know, but isn't it great?"  I completely understood - it's a guy thing.

The last time I spoke with Paul was at the Sharks Swim Finals.  Paul relieved me from timing.  His last words to me were "make sure Mary gets the girls into their races."  He was always taking care of "his 4 girls".  Now he is watching from heaven and giving you the strength and guidance you need to take care of all those little things in life.  You are not alone, Paul is with you.

Love,

Anne

Paul was team dad for the Pink Panthers (Zoe and Taylas) soccer team and  I was team mom along with Mary.  Paul was always so willing to help no matter what. He carried the banner, poles and hammer each week, along with the kids water bottles, chairs etc.. for our team and always helped me put up the pink panthers sign....I will always remember Paul as being someone so willing to help you with anything u needed....One time I needed to borrow a mattress for my moms arrival, he and Brian within an hour of me asking for help had taken down his spare mattress from the ceiling of his garage and put it in the back of his truck and brought it to my house, carried it upstairs and put it on the bed for me. A generous guy with a huge heart....

************************************************************

From Janet

J anderson <wahinilady@hotmail.com> wrote:

Hello Pink Panthers and Parents,

What another great game for the Pink Panthers.  Their skills have improved alot.

Thank you to the Young Family for our snack. Thank you to team Dad Paul Barnard for putting up our Pink Panther Banner up again. 

Hear Hear. Thank you to everyone for coming. It was great to spend the
cross over to the Dark Side with all my special friends and family. Thanks
also for the great gifts, I really appreciate it and will put it all to good
use.

Well, at age 40 and 2 days, I am now elder of the tribe and everyone -
including you, Mary, must listen to me.

Thanks again.

Paul

-----Original Message-----
From: Mary Barnard [mailto:marytyropolis@hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, January 15, 2007 9:35 AM
To: jenhberry@yahoo.com; pbarnard@irvinelawpc.com;
qberry@access-capital.org; cuffbrian@hotmail.com
Cc: dbright@barrister-suites.com; mgdenning@cox.net;
amonte@accesscapitalcorp.com; aprylm@accesscapitalcorp.com;
mstrickland@accesscapitalcorp.com; mstrickland@access-capital.org
Subject: Paul's 40th birthday

Hi to all our friends,

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for joining us on Paul's birthday!!!! It was
SO nice to see you all and celebrate this occasion with you...our friends! I

loved the restaurant and the view...Thanks Jen, excellent choice!

Love,
Mary

I remember Paul's sense of humor and his great relationships with his family and friends. His emails always brought a smile to my face. Like his reply to Jen when ordering the T-shirts for Kona

--- Paul Barnard <pbarnard@irvinelawpc.com>

wrote:

> Yes, we are good for 6.  Do they make them in an XXL or would that

> make Q look fat if the photo on the shirt is enlarged that much?

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Jen [mailto:jenhberry@yahoo.com]

> Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2006 9:27 AM

> To: Tess Strickdust; Mark Strickland; Anthony Monte; Marys Barnards;

> Paul Barnard; Brian Cuff; Shirley Henderson; Dave Henderson

> Subject: t=shirts

>

> Hy guys monte has organised t-shirts for us to wear on Race day its a

> surprise for Q. it will cost around 13 per person, is this ok with u?

> the

> T-shirt says TEAM BERRY, on the front with a pic of him on his bike,

> then on the back it says for pride and honor, go Q. kona 2006

>

> are you all in, can he go ahead and order for your families??

> Jen