Paul Barnard - Online Memorial Website

Paul, last night Quint took Zoe and Tayla to the movies, they had a great time....

 

(Quint bought them way to much candy by the way,)

 

Well when I came home last night from being out with Courtney I found Zoe and Tayla snuggled up in bed fast asleep so I left Mary a message and told her not to come and get her...

 

This morning when I heard her and Tayla talking and waking up,  I rushed to be with her, I gave her a big hug and we spoke about you and about the breakfast she would make for you. She smiled at the memory, she said you like tuna for breakfast (wierd choice buddy) but she fondly remembers making you coffee, tuna and bringing a flower to you, she said each year they would pick a different colored flower for you....She spoke of you with such love in her heart.....

 

It was so hard for me to hold it together and not cry,  I looked at her with so much love and gave her an extra special hug.

 All your girls are so amazing, I love them with all my heart.....

Happy Fathers day Paul 

 

  

Hey Paul,

This isn't really a memory it's more like a fun visual of you...the other night while out to dinner with Mary and the girls a song came on and Mary mentioned how you liked the song.  I can't tell you who sings it or at the moment even remember the name but I know when I hear it I will instantly see you and I will smile.  Jenny asked Mary if you knew the words and if you sang it and she said no and I said I bet he sang it in his truck at the top of his lungs we all laughed.  The reason we laughed is the song is sung by a chick so picturing you singing at the top of your lungs to some chick song was a fun thought and I know when I hear that song it will make me smile and think of you.

Love

Apryl

Hey Paul, I miss you so much.. Whenever I hear the word Paul, i think of you..

I really miss you. I remember all the times I had with you, when my family went to barbecues, and I also remember how much of an uncle you were to me. I really miss that. On that Sunday, I remeber sitting at the table with you and my dad, and we were talking about David Beckham. How I wish i didn't have soccer that weekend, so I could spend more time with you. I actually think of you so much, and how fragile life really is. Please help me with dealing through this.I love you and I am trying to be a good friend to Callia, Voulitsa, and Zoe. They are such nice girls, and they need you. You will be in my heart forever. I will NEVER forget you.

Love,

Courtney Berry

Paul , buddy.

 

Q and Monte just competed in the half ironman triathlon in Wildflower, as always Q rode for you.

 

As you can see from this picture you are always with him on his rides as he wrote your initials on his helmet, PJB "you the man"

 

Q always wanted you to do a triathlon with him, now he carries you in his heart with him ever time he gets out there.

 

We camped for the first time with the Montes at this event as there was no hotel for many miles.

I didnt realize how hard it would be, I had a moment that took me right back to that fateful day, and it was almost too hard to bare. Sitting round the camp fire I thought of you the whole time, and remembered how much you so enjoyed your camp fire with friends and conversation.  You loved the simple things that life offered. It will never ever be the same around that firepit. ever!! I wish you were here with us, there were still so many fun times and vacations to be had and it burns so hard in my heart to know we can never have that again. Why does life have to be so hard?  

Hey Paul, from the moment I woke up today  all I could think  about was you.  I can't believe  how  different  life can be.  I thought of last year on mothers day...you were  in the kitchen  making  breakfast,  and in  such  a good mood.  You helped  the girls  put  breakfast  together to bring upstairs  for my mom and I.  You  bought  the coffee. After breakfast, you just wanted to go out and do something. I remember we went for a long drive and then decided to go to Dana Point. We went to the harbour and ended up having  dinner in one of the restaurants  with  the Berry's  and Stricklands.  It was such a lovely and relaxing day. I can't help but ask myself, why not this year?  Its so hard to not allow pain to overwhelm  your life!
All I can say is that I really miss you and it almost feels harder as  the months go  by. I see you everywhere! I love you.

Hey buddy,

Thanks for your protection today.  Chelsea and I took Kingston and our two FAT dogs for a walk without Monte today as he was at the gym.  I don't like to take both dogs out because they are too stong to hold with the stroller but we just wanted to get outside.  Anyway as Chelsea and I walked there seemed to be a million other dogs walking at the same time and Max and Sam got so excited and one dog really upset both of them and Chelsea and I were trying to keep them untangled and away from the stroller what a mess I wont do that again believe me.  Anyway I know you were looking out for us because it could have been bad with chelsea holding both dogs at one point there were dogs on either side of us our dogs were growling their dogs were barking and growling but we were able to keep untangled and run home.  As we got close to the house I remembered a time you were walking us out from a late Barnard BBQ :) and Bruno turned and started to snap and growl at me and you stepped in front of him and gave him a "what happened" I stuck myself to you until I was out the door and in my car so I know you gave those dogs today a "Barnard what happened." Thanks my friend for looking out for us.

A

Hi Paulus, my friend.

 

This past weekend Quint competed in the  Oceanside Half Ironman Triathlon, its the one you really wanted to do with him, but couldnt cause Bruno had hurt your hand.

I thought of you alot during the day, it was a cold morning, the water was freezing and Q entered the water with hopes of a good day/ When he came out the water and ran up the ramp after his swim, I was so amazed to hear the music over the loud speakers playing "californication" by the Red Hot Chilly Peppers, which I know was one of your favorite songs. It made me smile as I thought you were letting me know you were there with us.

 

I remember last year you came to support Q and the boys as they competed in this event. You and I stood on the sand together and looked over at those apartments on the beach and said "lets sell big bear and buy one of those condos on the beach" well my friend we stayed in those very condos this year and I thought of you so much, as I stood on the balcony and watched the sun set wishing you could see it too, but Q says to me you can see it all in all its beauty.

 

Wish you were here.

 

 

Hi Paul

 

I have been thinking a lot about you and your family this week. Easter is in March this year, becasue of the Equinox, won't be this early again for another 200+ years. We are doing a walk on Good Friday called "The way of the Cross" it is to remember Christ's passion for us and how much he loved us and died so we could be forgiven and have the assurance of eternal life in Heaven. It  hit me so hard this morning how AWESOME this is,  that we have the promise that we have such a small time on Earth but such incredible HOPE and JOY to look forward to an Eternity with God and all our loved ones. There is something better for our future and it is HEAVEN and once we all re-unite it will be FOREVER.  All pain and suffering will be over and we will live with JOY , HAPPiINESS AND DELIGHT, in our Father's home. We will think about you on Friday Paul, and give thanks to our AWESOME GOD for his unconditional love that becasue he died for us, we will see you again in Heaven oneday. So have fun in Heaven over Easter Paul, you are there because you love and believe in God and I am sure that the celebration in Heaven will be unlike any other. I know God is smiling at all his Heavenly Children with such love and joy that you are with him in his Glorious Kingdom, you are safe...you are HOME.

 

We all love and miss you Paul, but we praise God that you are there with him.

A LOANED CHILD

 

Conversations between God and a mother

 

GOD:         I have chosen you to lend you one of my precious children, for a short period of time. 

                 You are to love him whilst he is with you and you shall be allowed to grieve when I

                 call him home.

 

                 This period may be for a few months, or ten of twenty years.  It may even be longer,

                 up to forty years or more.  During this time, will you take special care of him until I

                 call him back to his heavenly home?  He will bring you much happiness and if his

                 stay on earth is not that long, you will nevertheless have beautiful memories to

                 comfort you in your grief.

 

                 I cannot promise him a long stay, as every one of my children has to return home

                 on a date that I have already decided on.  I have chosen you, as a mother, to teach

                 and instill in him good values.

 

                 Will you please give him all your love.  Please do not hate me when it is time for him

                 to return to his heavenly home.

 

                 I imagine I hear you say: “Dear Lord, Thy will be done.”

 

MOTHER:  For all the promised love and joy that this child will give me, I am willing to take the

                 risk and bear the heartache which is to come, by Thy will.  I shall care for him with

                 love and tenderness.  I shall love him as long as I may.  I shall forever be thankful

                 for the joy and happiness we shall share.  But when the angels come to fetch him,

                 sooner than I may have thought, I shall bear the sorrow with a brave heart and try

                 to understand Thy will.

 

GOD:         I searched the world and decided that you, as a mother, would be the best teacher

                 to instill my values in Paul.  You have completed your task admirably and it is

                 time for Paul to return to me.

 

MOTHER:  But dear God, why did my child have to die in such a cruel manner?

 

GOD:        Dear Mother, the quick way your son died may seem cruel to you, but my Son

                 suffered for hours on the cross, so that your son may have eternal life.

 

MOTHER:  Dear God, although I do not understand Thy will, I trust Thee.

Okay Paul, so help me out here....

Last night/early morning February 20th, I had the most bizare dream. I got up as soon as I woke up so it would be fresh in my mind and that I was sure I had not imagined it. Here goes...

There was this huge swimming pool with a juccuzi in the memorial park, I was sitting in the juccuzi trying to get warm becasue it was so freezing cold. Then all of a sudden all your family and friends arrived, they were all dressed up in warm coats and in black and red, very festive. They started decorating this enormous Christmas tree for you, it just sparkled with red and gold ornaments, then they posed near the tree for photos, thats when I got out of the jaccuzi and got out my camera, it was the first time anyone noticed I was there. I took one photo then I heard a shout and looked over at the "regular tree"...which I am thinking signifies the one at the park. Everyone was rushing to the tree. And there you were, sitting down, leaning against the tree, looking up at us with such surprise. You were wearing a red shirt. You said.."I am fine" and then you dissapeared before our eyes. I did not want to wake up from this dream, i tried to hold onto this image so I could make sense of it. I will talk to Mary this morning to try and figure out what you message you were trying to send us all. So far, in my head I have thought this.. I went back to all the photos..Why the red shirt ? Well that's the shirt you wore for your last Christmas here on earth. Why the Christmas tree been decorated ? Well we all know how your loved Christmas and the Christmas tree Mary bought you last year 2007, is standing in a pot near my front door. Why the freezing cold ? I am thinking Big Bear in the Christmas. Are you trying to tell Mary to plant your Christmas tree at the Big Bear cabin ??? You must know she is going to Big Bear this weekend, and how difficult it is going to be for her.

We met Paul for the first time at Shirley and Dave's wedding.
We did not know allot of people and what I remember so well is how he came over to us and spoke to Graham and I for so long making us feel so welcome.
The memory I would like to share of Paul is one that I will always remember about him that will always come to mind when I think of him.
We went to Quinton's Birthday Dinner, we sat opposite Mary and Paul. Paul sat talking to Graham and when I got into the conversation I remember how he started talking about how he was going to go to the Orange County Fair with his girls the next day. He spoke about spending time with his girls trying all the fried food and just having fun with them, he still joked and told us that they would fry anything there.
He was really looking forward to that and I really thought to myself what a wonderful Father.
I am sorry I did not get to know him as well as I would of liked.
All I know is, is that in the short time we did see him, he was a very good, loving, devoted father who was madly in love with his three girls. Adored his wife and loved his friends. He will be so missed.

I made a trip in his car to pick up items and heard the Red Hot Chili Peppers CD he had.  I never think of that music the same. 

 

He is the man.  He was my friend.  He was a man.  I do miss him. 

 

Found a perfect fish gift for this birthday to hang by his bria, I think that is how it is spelled, and working the nerve up to pass it to Mary to hang for him and us all. 

Hey Buddy,

Just thinking of you.  It's a beautiful day outside but a bit cool I can picture your big smile as you kayak around heaven :).  I found this picture of us today you brighten every picture you are in with that smile I miss you Paul. 

Love,

Apryl

Hi Paul, Happy Birthday for Sunday, January 13th. I am sure the trumpets will sound and there will by much laughter and celebrating in Heaven

 

                        

Hi Paul

Today I went to visit you to make sure the cross survived the rains. It was still standing and not a single flower was missing. This picture was taken just after Jen put up the New Year Balloons. I hope you are having the best time in Heaven, we are all very sad and missing you so much.